At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
