Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
