How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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