I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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