I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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