What a fucking waste of an outfit
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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