mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
