I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
