dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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