Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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