the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
