Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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