that's an acceptable place to lick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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