oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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