just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think my mom watched the whole time
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
