I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
