Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
