before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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