and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize