why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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