Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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