best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
