Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
