just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
