Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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