is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
