my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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