I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
