Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she smelled like a LAN party
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize