There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
smell my finger.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
