I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
