you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
