I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
