What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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