dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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