He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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