That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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