I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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