Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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