I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
