does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
