one two three fourrrrnication!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
