I wish my penis had an off switch
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
