going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
