Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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