I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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