So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
