the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
