we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
