none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
