I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize