she was so not down for the gang bang
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
