for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
