I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
