You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
birth control should be required to get into college
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
