Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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