ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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