Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Semen is not good for contacts.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
