He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She bit a glass in half.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
