You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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