Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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