Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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