R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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