nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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